Tag Archives: writing

I’m back

It’s been two months since I’ve returned from my deployment. Two months might seem like a lot of time to some people but it feels like I just got back. I’ve return to the states with more questions than answers about myself. I had a year to reflect on life and the impact that I’ve had on people whether positive or negative. Sometimes I sit and wonder if I’ve made a difference in the grand scheme of things.

I was hoping to write some grand master piece to summarize my recent experiences, but I don’t know what to say. I get back and sometimes I feel like I had more to do with my time when I was deployed. I feel lost at times. I keep saying this line over and over but I think it’s true. I’ve left a little piece of my heart everywhere I’ve been and sometimes it feels like I have nothing left. I know for a fact that my deployment would have been one million times more difficult if I did not have the support of friends and family. So if you helped me while I was gone I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Now that I’m back I have all the time in the world with nothing to do, or so it seems. I have about fifty days left in the Army and I am both excited and terrified of what’s to come. On one hand I will get to traverse the world again and on the other I will start attending school. I don’t know which is more scary, exploring unknown parts or leaving the Army. As much as I bitch about it, it’s not bad. I think that at times the bad outweighs the good, but it is the love for my country that makes it worth it. Wars whether justified or not are fought by my brothers in arms and I am honored to have been a part of that 1%.

I had the chance to impress a young lady with my writing a few weeks after I got back. I still vividly remember what I wrote and I must say that I was quite pleased with myself.
I visited the city of San Antonio and I went to a new restaurant called Cured. The food was fantastic and at the end of the meal patrons of the restaurant are asked to write something about their experience so I did.
As I walked to the restaurant the scenery reminded me of my European travels. I was in awe over the architecture of the entire area. As I entered the restaurant I was greeted by the most beautiful hostess that I have ever laid eyes on. It felt like Christmas morning. that’s about all I remember, but the moral of this story is that one should not be afraid to try things. My last sentence is obviously contradicting my previous paragraph, so I do not follow my own advice.

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I will be leaving the military after this deployment and I have this idea. My idea is to set up writing workshops for veterans. I would love to have some English teachers volunteer time out of their day to teach writing styles to veterans, and then have them write about whatever they wanted. After each workshop, somehow scan their writing and show it to the world. I’d love feedback on my idea

I will be leavi…

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Goodbye

If you had to write a goodbye letter what would you put in it? As I’m sitting here in the desert I stare off into the horizon and I’m thinking about what my goodbye letter would consist of.
Nobody wants to die but when we are presented with a situation that the end result could be death something inside of us changes. Talking about emotions and thoughts aren’t exactly something we share openly here. The majority of people try to run away from their problems. And before somebody gets the misconception that this is about suicide you are mistaken, it is about writing a final letter before a deployment.
I had no idea what a goodbye letter was until I joined the military. The first time I had even heard of one was in church at Fort Jackson. An older gentleman came to talk to our group and in his hand was his son’s final letter. His son had been killed in Iraq a few months prior and we listened to his final words. The letter started off with “hey dad, if you’re reading this letter it means that I’m dead”, as the letter went on it felt as if these words were being engraved into my soul. It is experiences like this that I will never be able to forget. Yes, combat and killing sounds “cool” in theory but in the end it is not worth it.
Would I talk about my childhood or things I regret? It seems like this post is filled with questions instead of answers. I guess it is because maybe I don’t want the truth, getting over the fear of possible death is difficult to accomplish. What is the point of having ambition if we don’t act upon it. At the end of the letter would I be able to say, “hey I accomplished most of the things I wanted to do in my life”. I guess this is a kick in the rear to get motivated and explore life a bit more.
Does your life flash before your eyes like in a movie when you’re writing the letter? I guess in the end no matter how elaborate your letter turns out to be, the fact wont change that words wont make your family family. We take little things for granted, when you’re up it’s never as good as it seems, and when you’re down you think you’ll never get up but life goes on.

Comments would be greatly appreciated.

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