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It’s a full moon tonight and as I look into it I can’t help but wonder where you are. The constant wind blows sand into my thoughts and your face fades with each gust of wind. I guess that being out here makes memories seem better than what they actually were. The more time that I spend here the more my perspective on life changes. My worst enemy is you.

As I scan my unit from left to right I can see their motivation running on empty. It is very difficult to motivate somebody else when it’s hard waking up and putting a smile on. If you can’t find something to be thankful for when you wake up, the fault lies only in yourself. Our environment might be a sea of stupid, but we hold the reigns to our own fate. I’ll be damned if I let this place get the better of me.

I wonder what life will be like when the day comes that I wake up and the Army is nowhere in sight. Will I miss this lifestyle? I don’t know, but the thought of leaving seems bitter sweet at this moment.

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Memorial Day

It is currently 3am on the 27th as I write this and for everyone back home it is still the 26th of May.

I am posting this to share a common trait in fellow service members. We joined for various reasons and we knew what could happen if we did join, but here we are over 10 years after September 11, with many stories both good and bad. I am grateful that I have had the opportunity to serve and wear the same uniform as some of these people. I think that many people forget why we have Memorial Day. “I give unto them eternal life and they shall never perish”
 
Here is a couple pictures that I want to share with y’all, this is what he wrote to be read at his funeral.
 
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To close this out, here is my favorite poem by Chief Tecumseh

So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and Demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, Beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and Its purpose in the service of your people.

 

Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, Even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and Bow to none. When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the food and For the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, The fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and nothing, For abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.

 

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts Are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes

They weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again In a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”

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Pictures of my European adventure

These are a few of the pictures that I took while in Europe.

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I have finally completed my European adventure and I cannot express the amount of satisfaction that I received from completing this milestone in my life. Before I took this trip I was beyond scared, I would rather jump out of a building or helicopter than take a trip by myself to some foreign land, which is a bit ironic considering my situation. I have learned so much about myself from this trip and that alone made it worth it.
I had the privilege to visit the American cemetery in Normandy, France and I am glad that I was able to see it with my own eyes. I pale in comparison to what these men died and I am forever grateful. I saw this quote inside the chapel and I love it,

I give unto them eternal life and they shall never perish

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European Adventures

I have been granted a brief vacation from this hell hole. I smell the polluted air as I am being taken to the airport. With each breathe I take I know that it will be bitter sweet. The biggest problem that I have with leave is the fact that no matter how good the trip is, all your hopes and dreams come crashing down with each mile that your return flight takes.

This is my first trip alone, and surprisingly I was scared. I think that it’s a bit strange how I would rather repel out of helicopters than take a trip by myself. This will be a test in not only on how I transition from a deployed environment to civilization but to also gauge how I interact with a variety of cultures. I had a feeling that I would be judged by my profession and government not who I am. I can’t help the fact that I stepped up and served my country. Surprisingly all my fears have been non existent thanks to the group of people that I have met here so far. Our group last night consisted of people from Ireland, Austria, Colombia, Australia, New Zealand, France, and the USA. I think that this was the real life United Nations at work, everyone had their differences, but we had the time of our lives.

I will try to update this every day to write about what I’ve seen or experienced.

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Thirst is real update

Deployment has been a bit stressful and time consuming to say the least. This is a bit of a fast forward on my story the thirst is real. I must emphasize that the opinions and scenarios posted are my biased views and are in no way the views of the United States Army.

I had such great plans for the continuation of the thirst is real but recent events have forever changed those plans. I show up to our site and within the first hour I can rapidly feel my brain cells eroding away.
What makes a good leader? I have asked myself that question too many times within the last eight hours. I think that the Army is setting many soldiers up for failure by rewarding complete idiots with positions of power. To all the people who might say, well they earned it, I say Fuck You. The people I am talking about could not lead anybody out of a paperbag. We get all these people that want to be politically correct so they promote people that should not be put in a leadership position. If kissing ass is a requirement for being put in a leadership position here, I refuse to lower myself to that level. I have news for you, everyone can’t be special, so feelings have to be hurt when it comes to promotions.
Criticizing soldiers under you is not  a great quality to have when leading soldiers. Yes I am venting at this point.
Lets say you sit on your ass all day, why would you tell someone to be actively engaged when you yourself are not doing anything. If I could walk around and criticize everything a person does, would that make me sleep better in this shithole?
It would make common sense to make things less stressful than they should be in a deployed environment. I actually feel sorry for some of these guys, they are so caught up in looking good on paper that they end up losing whatever redeeming life skills that they had.
My friends, common sense is a quality that is fading fast. I weep for the new generation of soldiers that may not get to experience great leaders. PowerPoint presentations and good physical fitness scores do not make a great leader. The thirst for kissing ass and looking good on slides has become a mental disorder that is making me go crazy.
I’d rather get shot with a nail gun than listen to these retards.

With that said, my vent is complete, hope y’all have a good day.

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The thirst is real

This idea hit me at midnight on some random night out here. I plan to turn it into a short story of some sort as I get time to add content and fix grammatical errors. This story is based upon my biased view and in no way represents the views of the Army, only my own.

The thirst is real

​ Most people do not have an idea of how different life can be when we are put in an extraordinary situation. I had an idea of what my laid back deployment would be like, but I was not prepared for the shit storm that was coming my way. I can vividly remember 1st Armored’s band playing Eye of The Tiger as we were walking to the plane. I thought to myself, “wow this is fucking stupid”. The moment we took off from our base I knew I was in for an interesting plane ride. I still do not understand why we had to zip tie the bolts on our weapons; if I really wanted to end my misery in this unit it would have happened long ago with much dumber restrictions. I will reiterate the point that common sense isn’t so common in the military throughout my writing.

Why I chose “the thirst is real” as a title

​I was under the stupid impression that our pre-deployment training would make sense, that the training would prepare us for the challenges that would present themselves downrange, and I was fucking wrong. Many of the people reading this will wonder why I chose this title and let me try to break it down for you. Society around us is thirsty, thirsty for things ranging from sex to dog and pony shows. My military environment sadly revolves around dog and pony shows. I have never met so many individuals in my life so thirsty to do stupid shit. The stupid shit can range from staying in the field for a month to kissing ass. I cannot comprehend how some of these people wake in the morning and say, “Let’s go to the field for a month, it builds character”. It must be something in their fucking water because going to the field for stupid shit kills baby kittens. It is as if our misery feeds their never ending thirst for stupidity. Some of you out there might be saying, “Well you signed up for it, deal with it”, and to all those people I say FUCK YOU! Joining the military is an honorable thing and I do not regret my service, it is not my fault that you were too much of a pussy to join. I just did not know that I would be trying to quench a never ending thirst of stupidity. My writing will take you on a journey from the good, the bad, and the quest to fill a never ending thirst.

Basic Training

​I guess that before I start talking about the present I must write about how it all got started. Like most inner cities kids I had no future; I was lucky to be alive at the age of eighteen, my grades were terrible, and I did not care about anything. Before somebody says, “That’s racist! Judging all inner city kids like that!” calm the fuck down. In actuality I was smarter than your average person and I had actually ventured past the city limits. I was no gangbanger and I could have gone to college if I wanted to. You might be asking yourself just like I do at times, “Well if you’re so smart, why didn’t you go to college?” at the time college was not for me. I was filled with a surge of national pride after the attacks on the World Trade Center. I was only ten years old but I wanted to serve my country. I remember that I was in Spain one week before the war in Iraq started. The Spanish people were going crazy with riots and what not; we left Spain the day the war started. I had family and friends involved in OIF that is Operation Iraqi Freedom for you slow-folks and I was mesmerized by the military. Before I joined, combat seemed amazing and I could not wait to do my part. That is all I could think about before I joined, and I wish I could go back and punch the high school senior version of myself in the nuts for being that stupid. Combat only sounds good in theory because the theory isn’t shooting fucking mortars and blowing you up. The most anti-climactic feeling is the one you get whenever you land at your Basic Combat Training base. I was expecting a scene out of Full Metal Jacket and what I got was a scene somewhere in between The Breakfast Club and the scene in The Matrix where Neo has to take instructions from a cellphone. The only problem was that my scene had no fun and nothing that the Drill Sergeants said made sense, I was stuck between a rock and a stupid place. This was almost like the first time anybody has sex, you aren’t quite sure what to expect and when it happens, it doesn’t go down quite as planned.

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Nothingness

I think that one of the worst states of mind that somebody can be in is the point between nothingness and fuck it. The entire world around you could burst into flames but you feel nothing. It is at this state where I turn and see my peers. Our humor went from funny to dark.
Being in a state of mind like this can be very difficult for most people to imagine or understand. It is as if the worst elements of our environment are amplified and channeled through our jokes. No longer do you see the desire in the eyes of privates to excel and I think that it’s a huge problem.
But forget about all these feelings around us, the thing that we miss the most is sleep. How I wish I could have a peaceful night of sleep. Things could always be worse so I will end my rant here.

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Do you ever get the feeling of being pissed off at everything in the world, and you don’t know why? That can sum up about a quarter of my week here. Sometimes I just wake up and I’m pissed off at everything and everybody for no particular reason. And then, it is as if somebody moved the light switch, things in my day go back to normal. At times everything that has happened builds up, and it keeps building, until we release that energy somehow. As the days go by, I can see that people’s fuses are shorter and shorter, I can only imagine how this will go eight months into the deployment.

On the bright side, getting care packages, makes my day feel like Christmas morning. The entire world could be on fire, but for that brief moment of opening the package, nothing else matters. It is a similar feeling to getting letters in Basic Training. Just the fact that people I know show how much they care, makes everything we do worth it.

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Yes, some of the quotes are vulgar and downright wrong, but these are quotes that I have heard Throughout my career. These quotes are not a representation of what the army believes, so don’t blame the army.

“You know why nothing grows out here? Because this fucking place is infected, infected with stupid motherfuckers”

“Imma hit you with that right click save as”

“Dude his face just went away”

“Hey somebody threw a wrench in the trash”

“Once I got e5 I said, what do you mean I have to watch grown men piss? What do you mean I have to make sure these sandbags are straight and making sure they don’t have dirt on them, they are sandbags. That is when I realized that this was not for me”

“The army needs to stop listening to the government”

“I’m not moving my shit, that motherfucker is moving his shit, I guess he’s staying with a roommate the whole fucking year”

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