Monthly Archives: November 2012


War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
John Stuart Mill

I was not able to log on during thanksgiving, so I give thanks for those men/women that gave all.

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Here I am writing this blog hours away from deploying. It’s funny that it feels like I’m forgetting to pack something. Every time that I have had to pack my bags I always get this feeling. I can say that it feels bitter sweet. On one hand I am happy to be deploying and on the other their is a bit of fear, fear of the unknown. I will try to write new entries as soon as I get situated downrange.

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On that note I leave y’all with

goodnight and good luck.

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Lost

As I step out of my house I feel the cold breeze hitting my body. For some reason the walk to the car seems more memorable this time. I turn around to look at my family, I want to say so much to them, but all I do is smile.

The hardest part of the Army is realizing the truth. Realizing that this will be my last trip in a very long time is hard to accept. The best and worst thing about going back home is that it is not real. I wish it could last forever, but sooner or later I have to go back to reality.

We say our goodbyes at the airport. I wish I would have said more, but I didn’t. And it is not the fact that I was scared to go back, hell I’m not scared, I just hate leaving my family.

As I walk up to my terminal I see many new soldiers who have just graduated basic training. I can see the motivation in their eyes. I then look at myself and I notice the big difference. It is almost like I have left a little piece of my heart in every place ive been too, and sometimes it feels like their is nothing left, but I keep going. I believe in the American dream and this we must defend, no matter what we sacrifice.

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I have spent the last two weeks in my hometown. Every time I come back, I know that this is home, but it never feels like home. Even when things are amazing here I know that it is not real. Sooner or later I have to go back to my life in the Army. It is not that I am afraid to go back, he’ll I’m used to it, it is more of me not wanting to get attached to things here.

I think the greatest feeling in the Army is leaving to go home. Yet when we get here, I think that we imagine that home will be the same as when we left. I get home and my peers are wasting their life away. Here I am sacrificing my life for them and they chose to not do anything? Sorry if my tone comes off as a bit harsh, but f*ck, people here have the opportunity to do great things with their life. Being in situations where i took little things for granted have changed my outlook on life completed.

I know that this Friday I will experience one of the worst feelings in the Army, which is going back to it.

Hope y’all are having a great day.

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