I’ve been sitting here staring at this screen for the last 30 minutes. To be honest I’ve been staring at this screen for the last 30 days. I have lost all motivation to do anything. Normally I love to write, I love to show people a glimpse of my thoughts in this crazy world. Going to Mental Health on my own was an extremely difficult choice that I made. Admitting that things are not the same is extremely hard here in the military. I feel that their is a negative stigma attached to going to Mental Health. I am by no means suicidal if that is what you think I went to Mental Health for.
Sometimes some events can trigger memories and emotions that we have tried to suppress here at work. There are times here at work that things can be borderline stupid that can make a person lose their mind, but I never said anything. I don’t know what thoughts I am exactly trying to convey here because I have no desire to finish this post. Admitting that I needed help, especially Mental Health is something that I thought I would never do. I try to forget and for some reason I can’t. I can’t sleep anymore. Last night was the first night where I had more than six hours of sleep.
I am ending this post, I don’t know what to write anymore.