Would you go with me?

Sorry for the delay in my posts, I took two weeks of leave to my hometown.

Every time that we are able to take leave, it is as if we need to have a permission slip from God himself. Being able to take MY OWN LEAVE DAYS is almost impossible in this place. Before we leave many of us have this impression on how home will be when we return. I personally always picture my city the way it was when I left. Whenever I arrive, the city is similar, but it is never as good as I pictured it.

“Because we think the world stops at home when we leave, and it doesn’t”, this was actually just said by my roommate. I had never actually thought about it like that. He is completely right in my opinion, I can still picture the exact day I left Houston. It was a chilly day for the month of May, and I was so nervous as we drove through the city to the airport. I remember my family saying goodbye, I remember my friends, I remember my neighborhood, hell I even remember the people on the bus. We go through so many classes on resilience and how to overcome many emotional obstacles, and it’s funny because most of us(military members) think very similar. How can we be living in the past when we are in the present?

When my plane arrived in Houston I was so excited to see grass. I had not seen a lawn in so long, I never thought I would take something like a lawn for granted. I was so fed up with this desert that change was great. The humidity hitting my face was great, the traffic was amazing, and all the new faces at the airport were a sight to see. Honestly I was expecting to be able to reconnect with all the friends I had, and when I arrived the reality was much different. Why would individuals who never tried to contact me when I was gone suddenly change their perspective and try to contact me now? I was expecting too much out of people, it is not my first time visiting and it wont be my last. For the most part visiting Houston was a much needed vacation. Although I always keep my guard up, y’all have no idea how good it felt to sleep in. I was actually able to sleep on a real bed!

One of the main reasons I wrote this entry was to talk about the funeral I attended during leave. As much pain as I felt going to the funeral, I was honored to be able to go and pay my respects to a fellow service member and his family. Although I did not know this man and he was in the Navy, I felt so connected to him and to his family. It hurt so much having to salute while the burial guard performed their duties. With each round that was fired in the 21 gun salute, it felt as if with each trigger pull a dagger was being pushed deeper and deeper into my body. I was so proud of his service, yet I was in tears over what had happened to him. The church was filled with many service members that did not know him, yet we all stood together and showed our respects to him. The family was thankful that many people had shown up to pay their respects and I felt that was the least I could do for them. Their I was in complete emotional pain for a stranger and yet it felt as if he was one of my brothers. 

I hope y’all have a great day, here is a quote that I try to live by, little by little.

So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life.

Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself.

Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.

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